This second one's from the same class; it was an earlier piece, and more heavily revised. I'm still working on it, but I think it's getting there. I'm trying to figger how to inject a little more mystery.
(How I Found Jesus)
Todd is sharing. I thought when I agreed to this, Kelley would get tired of it in a couple of weeks. I’m fine with the services. I even like them, sometimes. I’m fine with giving money. But couples group? Four people have shared thus far, and I’m already planning excuses for next week. Todd. And his sharing. Get a real name, Todd. Get a life.
Fifteen minutes later. Everyone is looking at me. Kelley frowns. “Josh!”
“Hmm?”
“It’s your turn.”
“To share?”
“Yes, Josh. To share.” She sounds upset.
“Yes, Joshua. How did you find Jesus?” Todd jumps in. Ugh.
“Well, Todd, it all started about four years ago. I was a clerk at the county courthouse, and I just felt so unfulfilled.” Unfulfilled. One of Todd’s favorite words. He used it six times. I counted.
“One day, I was sitting at my desk, reviewing office supplies expenses for town hall, and I realized something was missing. So I thought: what did I have? I had a good job, a nice car, a well-furnished apartment, and a beautiful girlfriend.” I gaze lovingly at Kelley, eliciting an ‘aw’ from the group, and a glare from her.
“Then I remembered this Jesus fellow I keep hearing about. All these people talk about how wonderful he is, how glad they are that he’s part of their lives. I don’t have one of those. I don’t have a Jesus.
“So I decided to go and find him. To take a day off and go looking for Jesus. First, I decided to check at the Sears department store. They have everything there. So I went in, and I asked one of the sales clerks.
“‘Excuse me,’ I asked. ‘But do you carry Jesuses here?’
“‘I’m afraid not,’ she replied. ‘You might try the record store.’”
“Come on, Josh. You don’t have to make fun—“
“Now, Todd,” I say. “Your story was very long, and I listened until you were through. It’s rude to interrupt.
“So I went down to the Stop and Go Records to see if they had any Jesuses. They had people singing about Jesus, and stickers and T-shirts about Jesus. But Jesus was nowhere to be found. ‘You might try the bar. I hear Jesus loved parties.’
“So I went down to the tavern. Jesus wasn’t there, but I ran into my friend Paul. He thought looking for Jesus was a good idea, and said I might find him in church, and decided to tag along.
“So Paul and I went to church. There were pictures of Jesus, and books about Jesus, and people talking about him. But still no Jesus. I sat down, disheartened.
“‘Paul,’ I said. ‘I’m not sure I’ll ever find Jesus.’
“’It is getting mighty late,’ Paul said. ‘Why don’t we go over to the Waffle House and eat?’ I was tired and hungry, so I agreed. So we went to the Waffle House.
“We went in, and sat down, and I ordered an All-Star Special. Looking for Jesus takes a lot out of you. The waitress walked over to another table to take their orders, and would you believe it, there was Jesus, in person and in Technicolor!”
I look around the room, beaming. No one likes my story. Kelley is livid. Some of the other women are upset, but they’re too nice to say anything. Todd speaks up.
“You know, Josh, you really didn’t have to come if you weren’t going to be sincere about this.”
“I am being sincere, Todd.”
“Josh—“
“That’s how I found Jesus, Todd: eating a waffle at the Waffle House.”
kester taylor
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